THE HOMECOMING

Mid of 2004.  All in sudden I felt a rush of being homesick.

Homesick? How could I, while I was in the middle of my home and being surrounded by my loving family?

It was a different homesick feeling.  I wanted to feel once again the sweet feeling of having those people who loved you as a little girl. Surely, my auntie was one who loves me.

I used to spend my school holidays at my auntie's house in Magelang, a small quite city in the area of Mount Merapi, Central Java.  I remember how I and my cousin got along well, both of us being girls of more or less of  the same age.  Now she is a big girl, of course, as I am now.  Or probably we are rather old now.

So I decided that I visited my auntie. I flew to Jogja, then asked Indah (my friend at the university who resides in Jogja) to take me to Magelang.

It was an unplanned journey and it was a rather suprising for my auntie and the whole world of my relatives (who resides in different cities and areas) to know that I went to Magelang. Alone.

It was really worth my effort.  It refreshed my spirit and soul. It was a homecoming.

A few weeks ago, I made another homecoming to visit my auntie again. She was about to celebrate her 78th birthday. So I wanted to see her. I wanted to she the spirit that has been sustaining her long life: her faith in God's goodness and kindness.

As predicted, it was one I would never regret. A few days before, my auntie text me. She asked me, "What do you want Nie to cook for you?" I cried; the whole memories of my childhood vacations overflood me.

So, there I was. I met my auntie. I went to church with her and enjoyed the Sunday Service I used to attend when I was a kid.  And I met Nie, the maidservant who witnessed how I fell into a little fish pond in the backyard of my auntie's house andshe also witnessed  how my mom gave me a good spank at my bottom since she had warned me not to climb the hard cement edge of that fish pond! Hahahha!

To The Lost One

(this picture is a painting by Vincent van Gogh, named "Starry Night" and is taken from wikipedia)

Looking at the stars,
I wonder:
which one are you?

If you are
one of those stars,
how could it be so,
while you are still alive?

And if you are
still alive,
why can't I embrace
your soul?

Count my possibility:
will you ever be mine
for just once again?

Another Four Leaf Clover

The clover leaves I posted before was taken from my own yard. They grew in a big pot together with some giant weed grass which were purposely planted by my husband.

The clover leaf in this post was taken from Flickr which was posted by someone called "SuperFantastic" (visit: www.flickr.com/photos/superfantastic).

Have I become obsessed with clover leaves?

The Clover Leaves

Have a look at these clovers! Each of them has 3 leaves. But if you are lucky enough, you'll find a clover with 4 leaves! A four-leaf clover is hard to find!

That's why there is saying:
"A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find and lucky to have."
~ Unknown

How true! It saddens me to think that a best friend is not that easy to find. I used to think that best friends are there as long as long you open up yourself. But that's not the fact. You think some one is your best friend only to find out that finally she (or he) is your very un-best friend, even your enemy!

How so? How so- this is also a question I am pondering in these recents years.

I am not the only one, though. I have a close friend (and I thank God, she is one among the rares!) who has been pondering this best-friend issues.

One time, she had been in the state of opening up herself to me; but all in sudden she was like putting a wall between us. I was kind of wondering when finally she told me the reason(s). She was afraid that after she opened herself up to me, I would somehow betray our friendship. She had had the experience before, and it was traumatics!

I told her, I didn't blame her. On the contrary, I quite understood her. I had had a similar experience before. Some friendships I had were broken and they broke my heart too. Furthermore, they tore my whole world apart. They traumatized me!

But thank God! As she told me the truth, I trusted her more. I didn't impose our relationship to be closer, but naturally it is a close one. We care for each other without being obsessed or possesive. We honor our friendship just it is. We don't put weighted obligation on it. We just enjoy it. And we benefit from it.

And I see it as something sweet.

New Year Resolutions (?)

Of course, it is too late to make new year resolutions! We've been entering the second month of 2009. And it is too early to make 2010 new resolutions!

Infact, I didn't make one last year and I don't think I will make ones whenever we are approaching the end of 2009 (later on).

I'd been making resolutions year after year. Some of them were accomplished, some others weren't. Some were accomplished because I worked hard on them, and some because life had favors on me. I should be glad enough to admit that among of them which were not accomplished (mostly) were not because I didn't work hard on them, but becauselife didn't take side on me.

However, new year resolutions has been bringing some "damages" on me. As I had been taking them too seriously, I had my blood pressure raised up beyond my control.

I've been learning that being serious toward life itself is enough for me. I just need to fulfill my tasks on daily basis faithfully, knowing that I've done every one of it to my utmost, then I can leave the rest to God.

Afterall, God is always awake and He is ready to decide whatever things which need His blessings!

Just like one of my recipes book which picture is uploaded here. To my surprise,this little book has been sold well that my publisher thought it was worth reprinted. So be it! It has been reprinted and another 3000 copies are already disributed among bookstores all over Indonesia.

Without being too seriously about New Year resolutions, I hope God will give His favors and I am wishing myself a good luck as well!

And by the way, I am thanking God for His blessings and His taking care of me through all the years of my life!!!!

THE CHRISTMAS TIME MOOD

There is a big Christmas tree put up in a plaza of the newest mall in Surabaya.
This giant Christmas tree is really stirring up the mood of anticipating the coming of Christmas.

As far as I know, this is the most beautiful Christmas tree which is ever erected in a mall in my hometown. No wonder people take their pictures and use the tree as the background. This is a quite unusual behavior for those living in here.

MY DAY OFF

Last Saturday was really a day off for me. I did really enjoy myself.

I sneaked off from my routines and had myself pampered. I went for a facial session and then moved to have my hair-spa treatment and had my hair done too.

If I have ever given a choice as to how I should spend my time (and my money, of course!), I would prefer doing a whole body treatment rather going for a shopping!
Can't resist the thought of having the whole world for me alone!

MANAGING THE STRESS

Cooking is always a way for me to chase away stresses. Somehow, when I have to concentrate on ingredients, measurements and methods, evil thoughts are gone.

The picture which I have posted here is my latest stress chaser. As soon as I finished putting the jelly liquid into the mold, I felt refreshed. And when it was set and looked satisfying, I felt even revived.

Now I am going to make some more to send to my friends as Christmas gifts as well as to sell them.

I have posted my other creations of puddings in www.2sweethearts.wordpress.com.

HANDLING THE LIFE

One day, I was given a keyholder. On it is written: "LIfe is fragile, handle with prayer".

How true! Who could deny that it is not?

With all recent breaking news like the China milk issues, various nature disasters as well as the sudden global financial collapses, one cannot but agree that life is indeed fragile.

Common thing is we handle fragile things with care; but as for life, we cannot just handle it with care but with prayer. Ora et Labora, to be precise.

My Auntie

Yes, she is the owner of most recipes writtenin my cooking book!

She is my mom's eldest sister and she is my mom's only female sibling. She is 8 years older than my mom (but my mom is not with us anymore).

My auntie is now about 78 years old. But, gee, her spirit is not that old and perhaps, that is why her body is not that deterioting.

As far as I know, my auntie is a very hard worker. She works diligently almost the whole of her life, just like my mom. My auntie is a seamstress for at least, 50 years. She is not only capable of sewing, but she is also great with embroidering, knitting and whatever it comes with needles, clothes, fabrics, threads,...you name it.

But it's not her skills which make me admire her. Just like my mother, she shows how strong a woman can be. She helps supporting the family; not just her own family, but her siblings' as well. I remember the times when she sent my mother packages of vegetables, cakes, cookies and in the mids of the stuffs, there was always a little white envelope with my mom's name on it. The white envelope contained some amount of money.

Other than this, my auntie is truly a believer. I cannot find a single word from her mouth which shows her distrust toward our Lord. She always trust that her helps will come from above. She believes that the Lord will meet her needs.

Now that my auntie is very old, deep inside I am afraid of losing her just like I lost my mom more than 10 years ago.

She is now the glue that stick our big family from my mom's side. Whenever she is no more with us, the responsibility will fall on me since I am the oldest female in present generation within our "clan". The males in present generation within my clan are very successful now and therefore very busy that they wont be able to act meticulously.

Will I be able to carry on the torch? Will I be ableto glue all the membes in my big family?
These are the questions I must resolve.